Friday, July 10, 2015

My Recovery

The pink paper is proof :)
Today I passed my Military fitness test. For some this is a normal annual thing, and not a big deal. But for me in December 2013 I had a minor surgery that resulted it internal bleeding and was rushed in for emergency abdominal surgery. My recovering was long; I lost almost all my core and hip strength. As someone who never before that day, never even had a single stitch, it’s been a long year and a half. Today, for me, was a big deal.

As my military friends know, the new force test is almost all core, and I’ve been terrified that I would not be able to life the require weight, or hut myself trying.

In my 9 years, I never failed a fitness test; never fear it. My fear was just as much of a mental hurdle as it was physical. I've always been an active person, even as a child, I was never afraid to push myself or turn down a change to play. Starting from zero was hard, and going slow was even harder.

But today, all that work has paid off. I didn’t falter, I took my time, I felt no pain, and after the test, I felt great.

I'm back to 100%, I still have minor pain, so I’m more like 98.9%, but that’s something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I can live with that. I passed, the fear of never being what I was, is gone. To my family, my friends, the doctors, the nurses, and my physio, thank you, you got me through this trail, and thank you for telling me over and over, that I will get there, that I will be me again.

For all of you that have had major surgery, I know that the road to recovery is long and terrifying. You mustn’t give up. It will take time, hard work, and at times you’ll need a shoulder to cry on. That’s okay; I’ve had a few power cries myself. I started crying while writing this. I know I’ll never be the same, but I’m close to what I was, juts a step under, and I’m okay with that.

I feel great, I’m happy, and for once I don’t feel like I’m suffocating. Your recovering is for you, not for others. If they don't understand then you don’t need that poison in your life. Listen to your doctors and physio; believe it or not, they do have your best interest at heart.  

Happy Weekend


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