Winter Moon Excerpt

Prologue

“Where is she?” Ronan shouted. His voice was hoarse and his breathing frantic. He hurried from floor to floor flinging doors open. The empty spaces enhanced his frustration. Room after room he searched, trying hard to hold onto the smallest of hopes that she was still there.¶

The Hounds of God had ordered the sanctuary be built in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania many years ago. Still, it was unfamiliar ground to him. The unassuming log cabin in the woods held more underground levels than he could imagine.¶

Wallace, the caretaker of the facility, tried to assure Ronan that he could help if only he told him what it was he wanted. But Ronan was too far gone with worry. His heart thudded in his chest and dread began to build. He ran a hand through his unruly red mane. Too late, Ronan, you’re too bloody late.¶

His hair was as disheveled as the rest of him, but he wasn’t concerned with his appearance. It had been so long since he had seen a mirror or an indoor shower he almost forgot what it was like to feel clean. He spent the last few weeks in the north woods of Ballymactire, his native village back in Ireland. But that wasn’t why he looked and felt so unkempt.¶

It was true that he had spent all that time in the woods and, yes, he did do it all for her. A vain attempt to free her from their betrothal contract, their gealltanas posta. It was a sacred pact that neither of them had asked for, sealed under a full moon before they even knew each other existed.¶

He had travelled all the way to America to meet her, his mo bhean ata geallta. To wait and see if she was in fact a Wolf, and then to make preparations to fulfill their marriage contract. He had been expected to do his duty without question.¶

It had been difficult to convince himself to follow through with it. He had never even heard of her until a few weeks before he arrived in America. He had greatly resented being told what to do. Heck, he even took off for a weekend in the woods alone just to think about it. But he emerged resolved. He was a Werewolf, a Hound of God. He had a duty and he would honor it.¶

After he met her, everything had changed. Ronan’s doubts left him the moment he looked into her deep brown eyes. He felt their bond immediately, so much so that he could hardly speak. And that wasn’t the half of it.¶

Just looking at her sent his head into a spin and made his heart pound. She was tall and slender, her hair fell down her back in a mass of dark waves only to be accented by a lone platinum streak that cut across it like lightning. She was beautiful, and smart, and God, how he loved her.¶

He welcomed the contract with open arms from that moment, but that was his undoing. So certain of his duty, Ronan never stopped to think how she would take it. It never occurred to him that his Maria would have none of it. And now it was like an open wound in his chest. Rejected. She had rejected him.¶

He carried his hurt with him always. But for now, he pushed it to the back of his mind. She was in danger and he had to get to her. It was that simple. He couldn’t imagine a world without her in it.¶

Ronan had never felt for another girl the way he felt about Maria. And she loved him too. He knew it, felt it, he believed it with all his heart, but she didn’t want the betrothal. She hadn’t asked for it. Neither of them had.¶

She told him in front of their Alpha and other Packmates. It had shamed him, but he tried to understand it from her point of view. She was American, she was born outside of the Pack. It was difficult for her to understand and accept their traditions. He had to constantly remind himself of that.¶

He left New Jersey with the intentions of severing the contract, but it wasn’t that easy. Forty days and nights. That’s how long he was to remain in the woods with no contact from the outside world. No weapons, no creature comforts, no prepared food. Yup, no bathrooms either. All alone. He was to face it alone.¶

It was a test. A physical and spiritual one. You could call it a trial of sorts. One that would allow him to be seen as an adult in the Pack should he make it back alive. Only then could he try to break the contract. Of course, then his choices were limited. He would have had to find another mate or choose the life of a priest. And he would do that, for her.¶

So, that was what Ronan had set out to accomplish. It seemed simple enough, but he should have known better. Nothing was ever simple. Not for a Hound of God, and never, for Maria. He had to find her, she was in real danger. At least that was what he had been told. He prayed to God that he wasn’t too late.¶

He let out a frustrated growl and slammed his fist into the wall. The painted sheetrock shattered under the force of his punch. No, she can’t be gone.¶

Ronan leaned his forehead on the cold, cracked wall of the last empty bedroom on the lowest level of the complex. Dust and paint particles floated into his nostrils, but he ignored them. He said there was time yet! Was he toying with me still?¶

Ronan sensed Fr. Gallagher’s presence as he waited quietly behind him. The priest seemed to be measuring his sanity with each unspoken word. Ronan knew how he looked, he just didn’t care. Finally, the silence was broken.¶

“I don’t know where Grazi is, son. I thought she went to bed. I didn’t even know she was gone until Wallace told me that you just showed up here shouting for her. And I’m not even sure it’s possible you are here just now. Tell me, how did you get here, Ronan? How did you know she was gone?”¶

“There’s no time for questions! She’s in danger, Father. I know it, I can feel it. Here,” he thumped his hand on his chest, his green eyes wide with desperation. He couldn’t possibly answer Fr. Gallagher’s queries. What did he even know about how he got there? What could he say?¶

Should he tell his priest how he set off on this foolish quest to nullify his and Maria’s betrothal contract feeling bitter and betrayed by the girl he loved? How he went on foot with neither food nor weapon to endure his forty day trial content to wallow in his misery and sacrifice his happiness? How could he explain that Maria had come to visit him in his dreams back in Ireland when she was here the whole time? He felt ridiculous now and a bit ashamed for thinking of himself as a martyr for true love.¶

Agh, you’re a fool, man. You should have stayed to fight for her. By God, she had looked, smelled, and tasted so very real to him, but she had disappeared without a moment’s notice. Impossible. Ronan thought he’d gone mad for that split second. Then he heard a strange noise. Like a child crying.¶

He walked through the dense purple heather and the tall green grass, over fallen branches and thickets of trees on his native land. The whole time he searched for whatever was making the small, pitiful sound. He stumbled quite accidentally upon a dark cavern. One that he had never seen before. Not in any of his childhood adventures in those familiar woods.¶

Partially hidden by tall, dead blades of grass and black moss, the cavern sat like a dark, gaping, toothless mouth amidst all the lush greens and browns of the surrounding forest. Ronan rushed inside like a fool. All thoughts of his heartache pushed aside as he ventured in to find the lost child. Some hero.¶

Almost immediately he realized he had made a mistake. Ronan’s feet were pulled out from under him by someone or something. He couldn’t see in the pitch black of the cavern’s mouth. The air became too thick to breathe. It swirled around him like a sentient whirlwind of darkness tugging at his clothing, his hair, his skin. It was everywhere and how he trembled. He felt ashamed, but nothing in the years of his training could have prepared him for what he was about to face.¶

He hadn’t panicked right away, at least he had that. Werewolves could see in the dark, he had reminded himself. He remained calm, or he did until the darkness seemed to reach into his mind with fingers made of smoke. It plucked forth his fears like a child picks daisies from a meadow.¶

Visions of Maria falling to their enemies, of his village being burned to the ground, his father’s death, his mother’s anguish that followed, his friends and siblings driven to madness for missing their Wolves.¶

Real, unreal, it didn’t matter, Ronan howled his pain. He struggled against it, but it was nearly impossible to stop the invasion. He felt as though he had descended into madness. He was helpless, useless, unworthy. The darkness seemed to leak these thoughts into his mind. Like poison.¶

But he hung on. Ronan opened his Wolf eyes and held on to the one thing he knew to be true and good and pure. His love for Maria. Whether or not she would prove to be his destined mate, she alone had control of his heart. The dark whirlwind died down and he blinked away the dankness and debris. The light was dim, but still he was able to see. He took his Wolf’s offered strength and funneled it to his senses. It was funny, he had never considered before how his contact with his Wolf had become stronger since he had met Maria.¶

But there he was and it was weeks away from a full moon. He felt his Wolf alive inside of him. Power coursed through his veins and his eyesight became even sharper in the dank cavern. He focused on a shape crouched in the darkness. A boy?He was handsome and young, but he had bat-like wings and a long, forked tail. No boy, this was a Demon.¶

“Well, that was easy enough,” the Demon spoke and that was when the real pain began.¶

He toyed with Ronan for what felt like weeks. Starving him, beating him, planting false images in his brain. Images of Maria in the arms of the Demon. Her face lit up with happiness, her eyes closed in pleasure, the two of them together in ways that tore at Ronan’s heart. All the while the Demon insisted Maria was his. That he already had her and Ronan was too late.¶

It would have been so easy to give in to the madness, the rage, the emptiness that had threatened to consume him. But Ronan held on strong to his faith and to his love for Maria. Through the pain, through the images, even when he could no longer tell what was real and what was not.¶

“How can she love a weak and decrepit thing like you when I have true strength and power? Ridiculous. Mockery. False piety. You let her go, fool! You let her push you out, weak! What manner of man or Wolf are you, pup, to allow a woman to dictate your actions? You claim to love her, but she needs strength not puppy eyes!”¶

On and on the Demon spoke, his words like acid eroding Ronan’s beliefs. His only peace came from nodding in and out of consciousness. Each time he woke, Ronan was filled with panic and confusion. Then he would remember Maria, the woods, the crying, the cavern, and lastly, the Demon.¶

“I may be weaker than you, but there is something that I have that you never will. That’s a pure heart. She might never love me the way I love her, but it doesn’t matter. I love her. And that’s enough. Do to me what you will,” Ronan’s voice gained strength at the end, but not enough to withstand a vicious lashing across his chest.¶

The last time his eyes opened Ronan’s chains were undone. He saw food and water on the cavern floor and it tempted him. He was ashamed to admit just how much it had tempted him.¶

He had crawled over the cold hard floor of the cavern on his knees to the tray of meat and water. His hand, black from the smoke, grime, and dirt that seemed to fill every inch of the space, reached out to take it. At the last second, he howled and flipped the tray over, cursing and growling his own weakness. Perhaps the Demon was right about him after all, perhaps his heart wasn’t strong enough.¶

Ronan’s nails bit into his palms as he clenched his fists. Silent tears of rage poured down his face. He knelt down and began to pray despite his chains and the dirty cavern floor.¶

Dear God, Please help me, give me strength to get through this though I am unworthy. Help me survive. Do not let this be my end, I have much to do. Have mercy on me, Lord, I am your humble servant. Our Father, Who art in Heaven…¶

Ronan did not stop praying. Not even when he heard the beating of Demon wings in his ear. He opened his eyes to face his tormentor. This was it. He was ready to go down fighting. But the Demon’s handsome face was ablaze with anger and something else, Ronan smelled the stink of fear on his breath. His words still echoed in his ears.¶

“So you think you love her more than I? Well then go and save her if you can. The foolish girl walks into a trap. Molloch is no longer amused by her antics, the prophecy is close at hand. She will be dead by morning if you fail, pup. My hands are tied in this. It must needs be you. Go! Do not fail or the time you passed here will seem like nothing compared to what I shall inflict upon your hide! Go, now.”¶

       “Ronan. I asked how is it that you came to be here now, lad?,” Fr. Gallagher had his hands on his narrow hips, his blonde brow furrowed in concern for his once outstanding pupil.¶

“I don’t have an answer for you, but I need to find her, Father. Everything depends on it,” Ronan’s voice was hoarse even to his own ears.¶

“Then we will go together. Let me wake Sascha and Dimitri.”¶

“Fine, but I’ll not wait more than a moment. Everything’s gone arseways already,” Ronan walked up the stairs to the main entrance.¶

Within seconds the front door slammed open and a redheaded whirlwind stood there in a tight leather jacket and biker boots. A dark haired man similarly clad stood just behind her.¶

“Ronan! Grazi needs us!,” Angela Tanner stood with a motorcycle helmet in her hands and spoke in a voice that Ronan had trouble believing.¶

“Angela?,” her scent hit him and he held in the growl that was an automatic response, “You’re a Witch?!”¶

“Uh huh. No time for that now! We have to go,” she ran out the door with Ronan on her heels.¶

Ronan howled to alert Sean and the rest that he was leaving. He couldn’t afford to waste any more time. He turned to the guy with Angela as he revved the engine of his black motorcycle.¶

“Do you know how to ride, Hound?”¶

“Aye, but I don’t need to. It’s the eve of St. Lucy’s Day and I can feel the moon.Ah.”¶

“Oh, jeez, um okay, I’m hiding my eyes, make sure you tell Grazi! Jody, I am hiding my eyes!,” Angela said as Ronan began to strip out of his clothing.¶

Within a minute where he had been standing was a Wolf. He was bigger than any grey or brown wolf found in a zoo. He had amazing coloring, with his light green eyes and red and gold fur. Angela thought she recognized Ronan, but there was something else too. Something wild and fierce. Jody grabbed her gently by the chin and turned her head.¶

“Don’t look directly at him like that, Angela. He might take it as a challenge, his Wolf is in charge now.”¶

Ronan tipped his lupine head back and loosed a long howl. His breath was visible in the chilled night air. He ignored Angela’s gasp and reached out with his Wolf mind to try and find Maria. His heart froze in his chest. Hurry, we’ve got to hurry.¶

His head snapped to the direction where he sensed she had recently passed. He snarled and took off into the frigid woods. He ran just ahead of the black Ducati. The motorcycle roared to life behind him and carried two Witches that were trying to help him. Maria would be delighted that he trusted them to follow. He growled as a thought flashed through his brain at what she must be going through.¶

Ronan ran faster. He pumped all four of his legs harder than ever before, leaping over fallen branches and frozen leaves. He ignored the cries of Fr. Gallagher and the Russian guards as they followed more slowly. Still in their human form. He grunted and pressed on despite the burning in his lungs as he breathed in the icy air. Maria needed him. He didn’t need to know anything else.¶

“Grazi! Grazi, come on, wake up, sleepyhead! Daddy took you brother to school already for soccer practice and Nonna made her famous zucchini and fresh mozzarella frittata. There’s a huge slice with your name on it! Come on now, sweetie, wake up! You don’t want it to get cold.”¶

I opened my eyes and looked into the smiling face of my mother. Hers were dark brown, just like mine, but I don’t think mine ever smiled quite like that. She nudged my arm and laughed, a beautiful sound. Happy and carefree.¶

I felt my face smile in return as she pulled down my comforter and swatted my leg playfully. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and sat up as she walked around my bed picking up socks and towels.¶

“You know, you could use the hamper! I even bought you a ducky shaped one, after all that is what it’s for, Grazi. Now what are you waiting for? Get in the bathroom missy and brush those teeth!,” I could tell she wasn’t angry, just chiding as moms do, but still I couldn’t move. It was as if I was hypnotized by her every movement.¶

I watched her fluff my pillows and straighten my rubber ducky printed blanket. She moved with the practiced ease of someone who had done these things a million times. Duh, Grazi, it’s your mom of course she has!¶

Her brown curls were held together by a thin black elastic band at the nape of her neck. She wore a white t-shirt and a pair of comfy looking gray sweatpants. I breathed in her scent, it was so wonderfully familiar. Ivory soap and baby powder.¶

I was so happy to see her my heart sang with joy. Weirdo! LOL. I must be the only teenager in the world who has an awesome relationship with her mom!¶

I walked into my bathroom and looked at the smiling rubber yellow duck on my shower curtain and the matching rug. Everything was the same, but something was off. I couldn’t shake the feeling. Not even as I brushed my teeth to the sound of Mom humming some old Bon Jovi song. When I came out of the bathroom she was already gone. I dressed quickly in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. Then I made my way down the stairs to the kitchen. The smell of Nonna’s cooking hit me as soon as I entered and my stomach growled.¶

“Hungry? Of course you are! A growing girl has to eat!”¶

I sat down where Mom indicated and took the warm plate she offered me. A large slice of zucchini frittata sat right in the middle of it, mozzarella oozed out of the sides and my mouth watered.  Next to it was a scoop of fresh cherry tomatoes with a sprinkle sea salt and olive oil drizzled over the top. My favorite. She handed me a tall, cold glass of milk and sat down with a steaming cup of coffee.¶

“Where’s Nonna?”¶

“Oh, I think Fr. Verrell picked her up for church already. She’s doing the readings this morning.”¶

“Why didn’t Uncle Vito just drive her?”¶

“Vito? Why would he do that when he’s all the way in Brooklyn now? Remember? He bought that new house and moved his landscaping business? Did you get enough sleep, honey? You’re acting strange.”¶

“Um, yeah, sorry, I just forgot,” I smiled at the thought of not having to share a house with Julianna or Rebecca anymore. Then I wondered how I could forget such a thing? Especially not having to see Aunt Theresa. That alone was worth at least a  month-long celebration.¶

“Okay, honey, well go ahead and take a bite. It’s your favorite.”¶

I put a bite of frittata in my mouth and chewed slowly. It looked awesome, but it tasted wrong. Off somehow. As if the eggs and vegetables had somehow rotted and the cheese had gone sour after it was cooked.¶

I waited for my mom to go refill her coffee cup before I placed the chewed up bite in my napkin. I stood and cleared my dish before she sat back down.¶

“Wow! That was fast! Did you eat everything?”¶

“Yeah, mom. I guess I’ll go to school now.”¶

“Well, what’s the rush? Wait for your dad to get back and we’ll drive you.”¶

I stopped in my tracks. Dad. My dad was here. But I didn’t remember anything about him. Tears sprang to my eyes as I looked out of the small kitchen window as a navy blue SUV pulled into the driveway. A tall, muscular man with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes hopped out of the driver’s seat.¶

He wore jeans and a green t-shirt haphazardly tucked in with a brown leather belt and work boots on his feet. He waved when he caught me staring at him and I gasped. He was really there!¶

“Grazi? What’s wrong? Do you need to see the doctor today?” Mom stood in front of me and placed a warm hand on my shoulder. Her expression full of concern and love.¶

“Lil? What’s goin’ on there with our girl? Hey, Grazi? What’s the matter darlin’? Missed your da this morning, eh?” He grabbed me in a tight hug and kissed the top of my head. He smelled fresh like a mixture of clean laundry, soap, and mint leaves. I clung to my father.¶

“There, there now,” he patted my back and I moved out of our embrace to get a better look at him.¶

“Dad? Is it really you?”¶

“Of course it is! I only drove your brother to school, I didn’t go to the ends of the earth. Besides who else is this good looking?”¶

“Patrick!,” Mom smacked his shoulder playfully and nodded her head towards me. She seemed really worried.¶

I went back into his arms and hugged him tightly. This time I didn’t try to stop my tears. I wept like a baby as he hugged me. He stroked my hair and murmured soft words of comfort.¶

“Grazi, you’re really scaring me now. That’s it, I’m calling the doctor!” Mom went to grab the cordless phone from its cradle on the wall.¶

“Now, don’t overreact, Lilliana, the girl is a teenager now. Aren’t mood swings common? You’re okay now Grazi, yeah?”¶

I moved away from him again and nodded my head. Mom walked over and he placed a big arm around her shoulders. They looked at each other, then at me. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and waited a beat.¶

“Sorry guys, um, Dad’s right. I’m just being emotional.”¶

“How about we skip school today, huh? We can go out as a family instead.”¶

“Good idea, Patrick! We could go bowling or see a movie? Wouldn’t you like that, Grazi?”¶

I looked at my parents standing there in front of me in the soft light of Nonna’s kitchen. I looked out the window where my dad’s car was parked. It was dark outside. But the sun was out just moments ago, wasn’t it? When I blinked it was bright again. Weird.¶

I looked back at my parents then at the surrounding kitchen. The walls were blue and the counter tops were tiled. That’s not right. Nonna’s kitchen is yellow and she had stone countertops.¶

“Grazi?,” Mom questioned me with her dark eyes and curls. Dad looked concerned with his bright blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. Geez, they were such a gorgeous couple. Him light and her dark, I always thought they complemented each other so nicely. Especially in their wedding photo.¶

“Hmm, Mom?”¶

“Or we can go mini-golfing?”¶

Their voices seemed to fade. Wedding photo. Come to think of it, they looked exactly like the wedding picture I kept in my room. Wait a second. They were young. As if they hadn’t aged a day since their wedding. They were teenagers. Like me.¶

“Grazi?”¶

“Yeah, sounds like fun. Should we go get my brother?”¶

“Nah, it can be just! Won’t that be nice?” I nodded at my mother and smiled as my dad spoke again.¶

“Well, grab a sweatshirt, honey, and we’ll go! Have some real family time together!,” my father kissed my mom’s head and looked at me with his eyes dancing. He steered us towards the living room and the front door.¶

“Just a second.”¶

I went back to the kitchen. This time there was no stopping the flow of tears. I heard their footsteps behind me. I stopped at the counter that was covered with the wrong tile and felt my hand tighten around the handle of a long fileting knife.¶

“She knows!”¶

“Quick, grab her!”¶

Those were the last words the Witches who posed as my parents uttered before I drove the knife first into one, then the other. I had practiced with weapons during my training and I had found handling a knife came naturally. It wasn’t Dragon Fire, the blade that I had somehow come to possess, but it did the job.¶

Purple smoke hissed out of their quickly decomposing bodies and I turned to find myself in a forest, at night, in the cold, instead of in a warm house. Several Witches and Hunter Vamps surrounded me.¶

Chaos erupted. I tried to change, but I couldn’t reach my Wolf. It was a scary feeling. I had become so dependent on her. But I knew other things too and I began fighting back with everything I had learned.¶

It wasn’t until the third Witch fell that I found myself without a knife. I leapt onto the shoulders of a Hunter and used all of my supernatural strength to twist its neck and land on my feet after it collapsed and combusted after a moment or so.¶

It was hard to tell with the number of hunters that rushed me soon after. I swore to myself I would get out of there or die trying. But, too soon, I was overcome way too soon. My only thought was that they had gone too far that time.¶

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